Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Surviving The Heights
Darling Charles has posted one of his occasional musings on a bit of feminine footwear: a super-delicate stiletto-heeled sandal by Alexander McQueen. It's a pricey item at nearly a thousand dollars per pair, well beyond most women's shoe budgets. (Yes, beyond mine too.) One of Charles's blog-colleagues asked a question I've often faced myself: "How can anyone walk in those things?"
I wouldn't know about those shoes. They appear too delicate by half for me. I walk faster than most women, and would probably break a heel without thinking. Even if I didn't, without a compensating front platform, I think I'd find the heel too high for comfort. They're meant for reclining on a chaise longue while a handsome, superlatively devoted gentleman brings you mimosas and hors d'oeuvres. (How you'd get to the chaise longue from wherever you put them on is a separate investigation.)
The larger question of how women tolerate high heels is one I used to puzzle over myself. A lot of women regard them as implements of torture, right up there with Chinese foot-binding. Of course, that raises the companion question why any woman would wear such things. For we do wear them, most of us. We spend quite a lot of money on them, too. But why, if they hurt us, restrict our movement, and force us to wear delicate stockings and pantyhose we claim to hate just as much?
I have to be a little naughty here. Heels are sex made leather. Even if they make you feel a little unsteady, the compensation in improved posture, greater consciousness of your body, and increased attention from men is more than worth it. You'll never know how good an item of clothing can make you feel until you've worn a pair of luxe heels. With appropriate clothing for the rest of the body, of course.
Along with that, with the right shoes and a little practice, just about anyone can learn how to walk in high heels without pain. Moderate distances only! They're not for gofers or marathoners, and if you're going to be peddling a bicycle around Los Angeles, you should really be wearing trainers. But otherwise, if you buy:
- Well balanced,
- Solidly made shoes,
- Whose footbed pitch is compatible with your insteps and arches,
...there isn't much to it. Keep your legs close together, put one foot directly in front of the other, and refrain from hurrying, and heels won't give you any trouble.
Balance is usually a problem only in cheap heels, and in shoes with an excessively narrow heel. Sometimes it afflicts heels with unnaturally short, pointed toe boxes, too, but those are mostly a thing of the past. Cheap shoes are made of unsupportive materials on sloppy lasts, which results in poorly controlled sizing. Extremely narrow stilettos don't give you enough material to support your heel and can cost you a sprained ankle. You can almost always tell by eye when a heel isn't going to provide you adequate balance.
A solidly made shoe feels like it in your hand. It's not a webwork of delicate straps, or a gossamer fantasy like the McQueen sandals Charles posted about. It has some weight to it. Its upper surfaces are substantial. You can flex it without straining the upper's join to the sole -- and you should, several times, before you even try it on. After all, that's what your body weight is going to do to it with every step you take.
Footbed pitch is an individual matter. Some women can tolerate a high pitch, four to five inches, while others have to restrict themselves to more modest slopes, three inches or less. Don't kid yourself; half an inch either way can make a big difference. Wear a pair that attracts you for several minutes and move around briskly, as if you're dealing with several important things at once. If you still feel comfortable after five minutes of back-and-forth -- comfortable enough not to flop onto your back, rip the hellish things off, and fling them across the store -- they're a good risk. If not, put them back on the shelf! Sometimes a Dr. Scholl's pad under the ball of the foot will help a little, but if a pair of heels is past the edge of your comfort zone without the pad, you're probably better off without them.
The return of the platform sole has been a blessing to women who love the look of a four to five inch heel but can't tolerate that high a pitch. The good designers have become adept at avoiding the "clumpy look" that once characterized platforms, preserving the elegance of a high heel. The effect on comfort can be dramatic. I can tolerate about a four inch pitch in a "single-sole" shoe, but I find five inch heels in a shoe with a one inch platform at the ball of the foot just as comfortable. In fact, their solidity makes them even more reassuring.
A lot of podiatric and orthopedic authorities advise varying your heel height several times a day. This is probably a good idea; it keeps your ankles and tendons from becoming too used to a single position. Besides, it gives you a reason to wear more of your shoe collection each day, so why not?
Ladies, this is your guide to "surviving the heights." Mountain climbers have it a lot worse; they have to lug all sorts of equipment up the slope with them. All you have to do is keep to a few sensible rules and you'll be able to enjoy the benefits of heels without pain or fear. The rest of the problem -- escaping your favorite shoe store without buying a pair of entrancingly gorgeous but utterly unwearable heels -- is up to you.
