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Sunday, July 05, 2009
Vengeance For Sarah: How It’s Done
I've received a lot of email, since I posted this and this, that suggests that the libertarian-conservative Right couldn't possibly do to the Left or the Republican Establishment what they've done to Sarah Palin. A few of my correspondents have suggested that it would be immoral, which indicates a lack of imagination. The majority have asked, in one way or another, "How?"
Here's how: a simple, easy-to-follow algorithm for making room for good people and the ideas of freedom in American politics once more:
- Pick a single target. It could be an elected or appointed official, or it could be some spokesvermin who merely flacks for anti-American ideas and policies. Just as long as it's someone you think should be hounded out of the public eye, if not the country. Buy a spiral-bound notebook and print XXX PROJECT, where XXX is your target's name, on the cover in large block letters.
- Subscribe to three newspapers or news feeds that cover your target's area of activity, whatever it might be. Set aside a specific block of time, with a specific start and end, in which to cull those news sources for material about your target. I suggest an hour a day. If you're using dead-tree newspapers, cut the articles out and store them in a large manila folder; if you're using e-news sources, save the links in a Word document or some equally convenient form.
- Once each week -- perhaps on Saturday morning -- take the previous week's collage of material on your target and sift it for any patterns of activity he displayed, especially those involving sex, money, or real estate. Jot your summary down in your XXX PROJECT notebook.
- Once each month -- perhaps on the first or last day thereof -- assemble the month's notations from your XXX PROJECT notebook and imagine the foulest plausible motives that could have given rise to those patterns. Compose your speculations into a coherent letter -- pose your speculations as questions or possibilities, a la John Stossel --and mail it to the editorial addresses of the three newspapers to which you've subscribed, with references to their articles on the subject. Send a copy to your target himself if you're feeling particularly cruel.
- Repeat the above procedure until your target is no longer worthy of anyone's attention.
The key attributes of the above algorithm are:
- Concentration: One target, no more than that, no matter who you are or how puissant you imagine your investigative skills to be. "Concentration is the key to economic results," says Peter Drucker. It's actually the key to getting anything done.
- Orderliness. You've incorporated your activities into your personal schedule, and you've pledged to adhere to it. You alone will know whether you're being faithful to that pledge, but if the restoration of freedom and constitutional government is genuinely important to you, the prickling of your conscience should be all you'll need.
- Persistence: If you keep it up, those to whom your letters will go must take notice. Newspapers thrive on scandals and rumors of scandals.
- Egolessness: Don't worry that someone else might have picked the same target as you did. That's good, not bad; he could notice things you won't, and besides, a movement needs more than one voice to impress anyone. And don't become indignant when some reporter's byline shows up over your carefully accumulated and seined research. That's exactly what you want: they can shout with a far louder voice than you. You're not in this to become famous yourself...are you?
An old joke runs that, if a computer programmer were sent to Africa to catch an elephant, he'd fly to Cairo, traverse the continent alternately east and west until he found an elephant, and then stop. (If he's a real ace, he'll pre-position an elephant at the Cape of Good Hope, to assure his algorithm's orderly termination.) This might seem laughable to anyone outside the software trade -- and to quite a few persons inside it -- but there's this about it: it would work. (Well, assuming the elephants aren't allowed to move around, anyway.) So there's your algorithm. You might come up with something more elegant or efficient on your own, but what I've set down above, if faithfully prosecuted, is guaranteed to make the typical corrupt, arrogant bastard of a statist politician wish he'd never been born.
Let's get to work.
UPDATE: If you're uncertain or a little shy about your writing skills, I'll be happy to proofread your letters and make suggestions. I know quite a lot of people with enormous passion for politics who'd never dream of writing a letter to a newspaper editor, because they're afraid they might embarrass themselves over a matter of grammar or spelling. Never fear; that's why I'm here. I'll consider it part of my contribution to this exercise. (Would any of Eternity Road's Esteemed Co-Conspirators care to join me in this?)
UPDATE 2: Those who question the morality of this strategy should also read this post on the moral rationale.
Comments
You scare me sometimes, Flashy.
Posted by Fetiche Nouvelle (Duyen Ky) on 07/05/2009 at 06:55 AMOnly sometimes, dear?
Posted by Francis W. Porretto on 07/05/2009 at 07:15 AMMight I suggest Robert Kennedy, Jr., as a particularly odious individual, would make an excellent target?
M
Posted by Mark Alger on 07/05/2009 at 09:08 AMShould we go for smaller fry first, or aim for the big fishes? Anybody willing to take on Soros?
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 07/05/2009 at 09:26 AMI would suggest pursuing the single individual you’re most strongly motivated to pursue. Ideally, if you want to operate on the federal level, it would be the Congressman for your district, or a Senator from your state. At the state level, which we must not neglect, similar considerations would apply. And of course, if you select a commentator or organizer, it will help you to stay focused if he’s someone whose activities have caused harm to you or yours.
Remember that persistence will be required. Whoever it is you decide to target should be someone you can remain dedicated to evicting from power until the day he runs up the white flag. Don’t allow mere transient irritation to bias your decisions: pick a really bad guy and make his political destruction your unalterable goal.
Oh, and forward all the best hate mail you get to me. I’ll create a Hall of Shame out of it, so that when the whining from the Left begins its inevitable crescendo, we can rub their noses in it and (of course) remind them of how they celebrated over what they did to Sarah Palin.
Posted by Francis W. Porretto on 07/05/2009 at 09:45 AMI can’t tell you how much today’s blog has lifted my spirits. I am almost in tears…we have a plan! And a great one with exact direction, which is what I need. It takes vision, intelligence and organization to be a leader, as well as passion and a cunning persistence. I lack those first three qualities. But I’m a good foot soldier. I can follow directions even ones that take me to the edge of the cliff.
Ok, I already have the notebook and I already can’t stand Pelosi and Murtha…I also can’t stand Steny Hoyer and he’s my congressman. On a local level my governor is O’Malley. Good grief. Well,the one I can’t stand the most is Murtha.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 07/05/2009 at 11:41 AMI would suggest that all articles real or electronic are clipped from their source. Things get deleted and edited on-line, sometimes quite quietly. Set up a directory tree that looks like so: pub/year/month
to store the articles in.Also as time goes by you can look other interesting things, like articles going away/changing before a run for higher office
Also http://daylife.com or something similar might be handy, disclaimer I did not get a job here once but it is still a cool tool. Its a news clipping service.
marc
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 07/05/2009 at 11:59 AMI suspect it will only work if a large fraction of us wingnuts go after the same person. That will inhibit our ability to go after others.
As for defensive tactics against this, the obvious tactic is for there to be a “front runner” who will attract attention, but then drop out to leave the field free for an unknown who will take longer for attacks to sink in.
I just realized this explains the mysterious Clinton fade and Obama advance last year.
Posted by Joseph Hertzlinger on 07/06/2009 at 12:41 AMThere are only 538 elected federal officials, Joe. There are lots and lots of “us wingnuts.”
“I like those odds.”—Fred Dryer, Code of Honor
Posted by Francis W. Porretto on 07/06/2009 at 05:37 AMGot any issues with my spreading this around in meatspace?
Posted by og on 07/06/2009 at 11:26 AMGood Lord, Og, why would I object to that? The more, the merrier!
Posted by Francis W. Porretto on 07/06/2009 at 11:55 AMThanks. Do you prefer attribution on hardcopies or no? or can you email me a printer friendly version which appears precisely as you’d like a paper copy to appear? This is a wonderfully viral idea and I want to spread it as much as possible.
Posted by og on 07/06/2009 at 12:04 PMAttribution would be nice. If you would, please include Eternity Road’s URL. I’d like to keep abreast of reactions.
As for printer-ready copy, wouldn’t the “Print Vers.” link at the bottom of the post give you that?
Posted by Francis W. Porretto on 07/06/2009 at 12:57 PMWill do. Always read the posts in their comment view version which doesn’t include the link, my mistake, I have what I need now. I was mostly referring to the existence of links in the online version which are of course meaningless once printed. I will omit those links when I print it, with your permission.
Posted by og on 07/06/2009 at 01:29 PMOh yes! Just the other day I realized that insistence has been the lynch-pin of the Left. Just keep insisting incessantly.
Two year-olds know this better than anyone, as they can make a mom wish to change her name just to never have to hear it again!
Posted by Joan of Argghh! on 07/06/2009 at 11:31 PMTwo year-olds know this better than anyone, as they can make a mom wish to change her name just to never have to hear it again!
I once told my kids I was changing my name to Sh!t…when they asked why I said because they are not allowed to say it.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 07/07/2009 at 11:58 AMMost excellent. A teaching moment.
Posted by vanderleun on 07/08/2009 at 06:56 PMI should like to add that one of the codicils of this tactic is to DEMAND that the target answer the charges. Demand it over and over again. It’s a kind of “Have you stopped beating your wife yet?” approach.
Posted by Tamquam Leo Rugiens on 07/09/2009 at 12:05 AMBrilliant, simply brilliant!
Posted by GM Roper on 07/09/2009 at 09:42 PM
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