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Wednesday, March 10, 2010
E-Book Review: Asulon
Asulon, by William McGrath
A Christian / martial arts / high fantasy quest novel. Wow.
Asulon is the first volume in a (probable) three-volume high fantasy by law-enforcement consultant and martial-arts instructor William McGrath. I surmise that McGrath is also a believing Catholic; Asulon is pervaded with Catholic sensibility and belief, practically from the first page to the last. However, that doesn't get in the way of a slam-bang swords-and-sorcery-fest to gladden the bloodiest heart. When McGrath summarizes the book by saying "The book of Revelation set in a fantasy environment with political conspiracies, military adventure, and martial arts action thrown in. If Tom Clancy, C.S.Lewis and J.R.R.Tolkien collaborated on a novel, the result might look something like this," he's not kidding. Well, except for the matter of style, but we'll get to that.
The central plot thread concerns the succession to the throne of Asulon, a constitutional monarchy, and its implications for a mercantile plot already in operation outside its borders. Its king, Argeus, who has only recently ascended to the throne, has taken a bold step by which to limit the power of his Senate, much to the dismay of certain forces inside and outside his realm. In consequence, Argeus is assassinated early on in the tale by a complex and clever technique. His twenty-year-old son Daniel, the principal protagonist, is unprepared for the position and its duties.
Every male in Asulon's line of succession is expected to prepare for the duties of his potential position by studying for a term in Caer-Albion: the fastness of Anak, last of the Grigori angels, who rules Logres, an island kingdom to the west. More, every heir is expected to wed one of Anak's daughters, a tradition unbroken for a thousand years. But Daniel's journey will not be unobstructed: the same forces that contrived Argeus's death are determined to slay Daniel as well.
Most of the story concerns that journey and the opposition Daniel and his mentor Moor must defeat. The pace seldom slackens. Also interwoven is a romantic thread: Daniel is drawn to Rachel, a Seer who accompanies him, despite the marital tradition that pertains to his position and his House. More, Daniel's party encounters tragic events at Caer-Albion that threaten to shake the world (and not coincidentally provide the cliffhanger that impels the reader to buy the next book).
Asulon's flaws are twofold. The first is its derivative nature: McGrath has borrowed heavily from Christian Scripture, including Genesis and Revelation, for the material from which to forge his plot. That's not fatal; indeed, it's been done before, to good effect. But the reader is too frequently reminded of those sources, which weakens Asulon as an independent creation.
Second, McGrath's style is closer to modern-colloquial fictional style than to the more formal cadences to which high-fantasy aficionadi are accustomed. That impedes the "buy-in" critical to a story dependent on magical and supernatural themes. That effect isn't fatal either, but Asulon's setting and premises would be easier to accept if the style had been more in the high-fantasy tradition.
Still, it was an entertaining read, especially for one who agrees with its Christian theses and premises, and who delights in finding them at work in a fantasy adventure. C. S. Lewis would have clucked over some of the technical and stylistic missteps, but I think he, too, would have read to the last page, looked up at the end, and said, "So when's Book Two coming out?"
Theme: Duty is the hardest of all masters. I concur: A
Plot: B
Characterization: B+
Style: B-
Recommended.
Comments
Francis;
Can you elaborate some on what you meant by “technical and stylistic missteps?” I’m just curious as to what pitfalls this author has fallen into.
yes, i know I finished that sentence incorrectly…
Posted by on 03/10/2010 at 03:27 PMGoob,
By “technical misstep,” I mean a grammatical or syntactical error. There were a few, including the usual problems of number agreement, and word-confusions such as “it’s” where “its” is proper.
By “stylistic misstep,” I mean a shift in voice or viewpoint that disturbs the smoothness of narrative or dialogue, or the use of an idiom inappropriate to the novel’s setting. These are harder to be specific about, and I didn’t take precise notes when I read Asulon that would permit me to zero in on one such quickly. Rather, take as an example one of Shakespeare’s stylistic missteps: a scene in Julius Caesar where Cassius says to Brutus that “the clock has stricken three.” Striking clocks came more than a millennium later than the Roman Empire.
The typical reader notices these things subliminally; as a self-nominated critic, I try to take conscious note of them. But I wouldn’t condemn a decent story for such things. Writers are human, after all. (Except for “your humble Curmudgeon,” that insufferable crank.)
Posted by Francis W. Porretto on 03/10/2010 at 03:42 PMI’m nervous as hell about publishing my humble contribution to the literary world knowing that someone of your intellect may someday read it and tear it to shreds in disgust…
...Just so you know why I asked.
There won’t be any reverse anachronisms like in Caesar in my contribution, thankfully, because it is set in the modern day.
As far as changes in voice, I’ve always liked to write in third person omniscient (but limited to one person at a time), which lends itself to uncomfortable and awkward changes in voice as the omniscient narrator moves from revealing the feelings of one person to revealing the feelings of another. For that reason, I’ve always tried to be careful to put hard breaks, like a chapter break, into the story when these changes occur.
I don’t know if this is a good thing or not, but I’ve always liked it when the author did this to make sure the reader isn’t confused about who is feeling what.
My story is a story of personal redemption, in which an unlikely war hero who is haunted by his past chooses to essentially give his life to save a person that he loves from abject, unadulterated evil. I say personal redemption, because no one else thinks he has anything to redeem - they all consider him a hero. He, on the other hand, would tend to disagree, not seeing anything heroic in what he had to do to survive, and not being the least bit proud of his actions “over there.”
There are converging plot lines that all come together nicely in the end - the investigation of a police detctive of the murder of the protagonist’s friend early on in the story; the protagonist’s journey, itself; the story, as told, by the person whom is he trying to save; and the story of the evil men, who are trying to get something back from the protagonist which he accidentally/inadvertently took from them in the aftermath of his friend’s murder.
Posted by on 03/10/2010 at 08:01 PMGoob, one of the lessons I learned early on in my adventures in fiction writing is get yourself a good editor. Even if you have to hire one, there’s no substitute for a second pair of extra-sharp eyes when you think your manuscript is “almost ready.”
As it happens, I have a very good editor. She’s a former professional who’s seen more bad prose than you and I could generate in a hundred years. She’s also a second-dan black belt in Aikido and faster than a nasty rumor, so you bet your ass I listen to her closely!
If you have such an editor, and if he gives your work the seal of approval, you need have no fear of such as me. I’m actually rather tolerant of low-level faults. What makes me sneer are flaws in plot and characterization, and lack of theme. Faults of grammar, syntax, and so forth are correctable; a dull plot, unconvincing characters, or a themeless tale are not.
Be not afraid.
Posted by Francis W. Porretto on 03/10/2010 at 08:20 PMThanks for an insightful review. FYI: Eretzel, the second novel in The Sword of Fire trilogy is now available on Amazon.com and on my website: TheSwordofFire.com
Regards,
Bill McGrath
author of The Sword of Fire trilogyPosted by Bill McGrath on 03/12/2010 at 11:09 PM
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