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Tuesday, October 18, 2005
A Show Of Nobility?
At the end of an otherwise darkly funny workplace vignette, Jay Tea of Wizbang makes the following statement:
(And before anyone starts playing matchmaker between me and my departing colleague, I've considered it -- and rejected it. For one, she's nearly 13 years younger. For another, she's just too damned nice -- my rougher aspects would steamroller her, and "nice" people like her should be allowed to continue to be "nice," and kept from getting too close to brutes like me.)
Many persons would take this as an expression of a generous, even noble attitude. But it overlooks -- perhaps unconsciously, perhaps not -- one of the essential functions women perform for men and for society at large: the civilization of us menfolk.
There's a reason for the old phrase "saved by the love of a good woman." Men will modify themselves to get it, and constrain themselves to keep it. Even a thoroughly married man will retain some of his "rougher" aspects, of course -- that's a matter of germ plasm and natural selection -- but he'll keep their outward expression confined to such situations as will exclude his beloved from being affected by them.
(If you needed an excuse for "boys' night out," you have one right there.)
As for the age difference Jay Tea reports, thirteen years is a bagatelle in the scheme of things. Indeed, for a man to be a decade or so older than his woman is usually constructive; his wilder instincts will have been reduced in intensity, and the material security and comfort he can offer to her and their children will be substantially greater.
C'mon, Jay. Stop playing at being noble and do what you know you ought. Ask her out to dinner. If she's known you for any length of time at all, she's probably been waiting for it. For you to withhold yourself, and all you can offer, out of concern for her is just a rarefied form of cruelty. Besides, just think how much she'll enjoy working on you.
Comments
That reminds me of a great quote from the British comedy “Coupling”:
Woman 1: There’s nothing wrong with him. I don’t want to change him at all.
Woman 2: When can we meet him?
Woman 1: When he’s done.A former co-worker once said the age limit is half your age plus seven years. The more I think about it, the more it (generally) makes sense to me: otherwise, cultural factors get in the way. Could I spend my life with someone who wouldn’t get jokes about Devo or The Breakfast Club?
Posted by Jeff Medcalf on 10/19/2005 at 12:31 AMAugh, no, Jeff! At my age (mumble, mumble...) the difference would be something like 37 years. Please, no…
Posted by Liz on 10/19/2005 at 03:28 PM
