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Friday, March 05, 2010

The Duchess of Plaza Toro speaks

By AkakyAkakyevichBashmachkin

We’re not here just to self-perpetuate our service in Congress”
                                                —Nancy Pelosi, 2/27/2010

You know, this strikes me as the sort of thing Bruce Ismay might have said, if Ismay were the Speaker of the House today and not the shipping company executive who urged the captain of the Titanic to ignore the iceberg warnings and push the ship to go faster.  Ismay, I should point out, did not choose to go down with the ship the way the captain did; he made sure he got off the ship in one of the last available lifeboats.  Similarly, it is always easier to call on other members of Congress to sacrifice their political careers when you are in no danger of sacrificing your own. You do wonder how she can say such a thing with a straight face, but I imagine that Botox can do wonders these days.


DUKE.
In enterprise of martial kind,
When there was any fighting,
He led his regiment from behind—
He found it less exciting.
But when away his regiment ran,
His place was at the fore, O—
That celebrated,
Cultivated,
Underrated
Nobleman,
The Duke of Plaza-Toro!
ALL.
In the first and foremost flight, ha, ha!
You always found that knight, ha, ha!
That celebrated,
Cultivated,
Underrated
Nobleman,
The Duke of Plaza-Toro!
DUKE.
When, to evade Destruction’s hand,
To hide they all proceeded,
No soldier in that gallant band
Hid half as well as he did.
He lay concealed throughout the war,
And so preserved his gore, O!
That unaffected,
Undetected,
Well-connected
Warrior,
The Duke of Plaza-Toro!
ALL.
In every doughty deed, ha, ha!
He always took the lead, ha, ha!
That unaffected,
Undetected,
Well-connected
Warrior,
The Duke of Plaza-Toro!
DUKE.
When told that they would all be shot
Unless they left the service,
That hero hesitated not,
So marvellous his nerve is.
He sent his resignation in,
The first of all his corps, O!
That very knowing,
Overflowing,
Easy-going
Paladin,
The Duke of Plaza-Toro!
ALL.
To men of grosser clay, ha, ha!
He always showed the way, ha, ha!
That very knowing,
Overflowing,
Easy-going
Paladin,
The Duke of Plaza-Toro!
That very knowing,
Overflowing,
Easy-going
Paladin,
The Duke of Plaza-Toro! Plaza-Toro!

From The Gondoliers, by Gilbert & Sullivan.

The missus is just as fast to the rear, it seems.



Posted by AkakyAkakyevichBashmachkin on 03/05/2010 at 11:27 AM

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